


Emily Prentiss Definitely Has Sex With Men

by SloanGreyMercyDeath



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Office Sex, but literally no one believes her, emily tries to say she's straight, his name is CHAD, she has a boyfriend GUYS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:40:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27083539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SloanGreyMercyDeath/pseuds/SloanGreyMercyDeath
Summary: Seriously. She does. She Loves Having Sex With Men. No. She Is Not Secretly Sleeping With JJ. SHE SLEEPS WITH MEN, OK?
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 5
Kudos: 264





	Emily Prentiss Definitely Has Sex With Men

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to the Jemily Discord for the idea! If you want to join, here's a link: https://discord.gg/R4w7Rvn

_Have you recovered from last night yet?_

Emily felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and shifted to pull it out. They were flying back to DC after a long case in Kansas City. The entire team was half-asleep, sunk low in the comfortable seats of the plane. She unlocked her phone and opened the message from Chad.

She read the cheeky question and bit her bottom lip to keep from grinning. Looking around the plane, she took stock of her team. She was in the seat by the window, curled up with a blanket. Across from her, Reid was re-reading War and Peace in the original Russian. Beside him, Morgan seemed to be asleep, his headphones blocking out any sound that might wake him up. Hotch and Rossi sat together at the other end of the jet, talking quietly.

The last person Emily’s eyes landed on was JJ. She was laying on the couch beside the table Emily, Morgan, and Reid were surrounding. A large blanket covered her and only her head and hands were visible. Despite being positioned for sleep, she was scrolling through her phone. Her eyes flicked up to meet Emily’s before returning to the screen.

_Of course! You aren’t THAT impressive, you know._

She put her phone face down on the table and looked out the window at the city lights below. Flying at night was her favorite. It was peaceful and made her feel half-real. The only downside was that it cut into her free time. Her phone buzzed and she snatched it off the table.

_That’s not what you said last night._

Emily chuckled at the message and the memory of being bent over, her face buried in a pillow, as she was fucked until she begged for mercy. Another text arrived before she had a chance to answer the first one.

_Maybe you need a reminder of exactly how impressive I am. My office. Be wet._

“What is it?” 

Emily jumped in her seat, barely containing a startled scream. Taking a deep breath, Emily pressed a hand to her chest and looked across the table at Reid. He had closed his book and was staring at her thoughtfully.

Emily’s jolt woke Morgan up and he took his headphones off. “What is it?”

“That’s what I asked,” Reid told him. “I looked up from my book and Prentiss’ face was red, her pupils were dilated, and her breathing was uneven. I think she may be sick.”

A grin bloomed on Derek’s face and his eyebrows shot up playfully. “Oh, she’s sick, alright. Prentiss has a fever and she needs a little bit of _sexual healing_!”

Emily gave him the middle finger. “Fuck off, Morgan. Worry about your own sex life and stay out of mine.”

“Who is she?” he asked, ignoring the gesture. 

“What makes you think it’s a she?”

Reid and Morgan exchanged a glance and Morgan chuckled. “Come on, Emily. We know you’re a lesbian.”

“I’m- What?” she stuttered. “No!” Laughing nervously, she tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Are you sure you two are profilers? Because I’m not a lesbian.”

“Emily,” Reid sighed, shifting in his seat to sit up straighter, “despite our government’s public stance on lgbt issues, you should know that this team supports you. You’ve been here for over a year now. We don’t care that you’re a lesbian.”

Emily’s mouth opened and closed silently, as she tried to figure out something to say. From the couch, JJ laughed at Emily’s embarrassment. Shooting her a glare, Emily jumped again as her phone vibrated.

_Don’t worry, baby. Just tell them about your main man, Chad._

Rolling her eyes, Emily dropped her phone into her lap. She looked at Reid. “I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s unnecessary. I like guys. I’m actually texting one of my frequent flyers.”

“Frequent flyers?” JJ repeats with a chuckle. “How many orgasms does it take to become a platinum member?"

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Emily shot back. She met J’s eyes and had to look away before she said anything else. Turning her attention back to Morgan and Reid. “His name is Chad.”

“No one’s name is Chad,” Rossi said, standing from his seat and walking over to them. He dropped into the empty seat beside Emily. “I refuse to believe a parent could be so cruel.”

“Yeah,” Derek added. “You couldn’t pick a faker name if you tried.”

Emily scoffed dramatically. “It’s not fake. I mean- I could name more men that I’ve slept with. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Name ten,” JJ ordered from the couch as she typed on her phone.

Phone buzzing in her lap, Emily scowled at JJ as she picked it up. “Hunter, Danny, Taylor, Sam, Alex, Max, Jordan, Blake, Cameron, Charlie.” She looked at her messages.

_Remember the first time I used the strap-on? I left you a whimpering mess. Am I the best you’ve ever had? Say it._

“Those are all gender-neutral names…” Reid muttered. “Not exactly convincing.”

“Those guys don’t matter anyway.” Emily rolled her eyes, hand clenched around her phone. “Chad is better than anyone I’ve ever been with before.”

“Damn!” Derek cheered, clapping his hands. “Whoever _they_ are, it sounds like you’re in good hands!”

_Good girl._

“We’re landing,” Hotch said from his seat across the plane. He gave them a look that clearly said, ‘this conversation ends here.’ “Let’s get the preliminary work done tonight and then come in late tomorrow.”

30 minutes later, the team walked into the bullpen. Rossi, Hotch, and JJ went straight to their offices and Reid, Morgan, and Emily went to their desks. Putting her bag down, Emily looked up to see Reid and Morgan both smiling at her.

“I swear to god,” Emily muttered, eyes narrowing, “if this is about my sex life…”

Reid sniffed. “I just find it odd that we’ve never heard about any men in your life before now.”

“What?” Emily scoffed in disbelief. “I- Morgan- I told you about Kilgore Trout Guy my second week on the job! Jesus, guys! Who I have sex with is none of your business! Maybe that’s why I haven’t talked to you about it before, huh?”

Morgan put his hands up, chuckling. “Okay, okay. We’ll drop it, but I want you to know that we’re here for you no matter what. If ‘Chad’ is real, then we’d love to meet him.”

Narrowing her eyes at him, Emily nodded. “Maybe.”

“Emily?” JJ called from the door of her office. She was looking at Emily expectantly. “Can I talk to you?”

“Saved by the bell,” Emily mumbled, turning her back on the boys and heading to JJ’s office. 

When she reached JJ, she brushed past her into the office, heading to the couch and sitting heavily. JJ shut the door and leaned against it, giving Emily a dark look that made her shiver. Even from across the room, she could feel the heat between them.

“Did you convince them?” JJ asked. She began to unbutton her suit jacket. “Do they think you sleep with men now?”

Emily shrugged, eyes glued to JJ’s bare shoulders as she tugged her jacket off. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

Tossing the suit jacket on to her desk, JJ kicked her heels off and slowly began to make her way to Emily. She sauntered forward like a cat stalking its prey, shoulders back and chin high. Emily licked her lips in anticipation.

“What would they say,” JJ asked quietly, raising an eyebrow, “if they knew that the mysterious Chad was actually me, the sweet Media Liaison?”

“I don’t know,” Emily answered honestly. She reminded herself to breathe when JJ started tying her hair up into a ponytail. “I can barely believe it.”

JJ smirked, coming to a stop in front of Emily, their knees barely brushing together. She finished with her ponytail and grasped her skirt, hiking it up to her hips so she could straddle Emily. The soft fabric of the couch dug into her knees as she slid them apart to lower herself onto Emily’s lap.

Emily gripped JJ’s bare thighs, the muscle firm beneath her hands. She gasped softly as JJ cupped her face, leaning in to kiss her sweetly. It was barely more than a brush of their lips, but Emily’s heart started racing immediately.

“I thought we weren’t going to have sex at work anymore,” Emily murmured into JJ’s mouth. She flicked her tongue against JJ’s lips. “I’m not complaining, though.”

“Good,” JJ sighed, reaching down to unbutton Emily’s pants, “because I have no intention of letting you out of here without reminding you of just how _impressive_ I am.”

Groaning, Emily started unbuttoning JJ’s shirt as JJ pulled her zipper down and opened her pants. A baby blue bra made JJ’s skin glow, accentuating her perfect breasts. Emily pushed it up to hold them and felt JJ’s nipples tighten against her palms. She squeezed, drawing a whispered ‘Emily’ from JJ’s pink lips.

JJ crashed their lips together, lust destroying her plan to tease. Emily’s hands felt so good against her flushed skin that JJ forgot that she had one hand tucked under the waistband of Emily’s black lace underwear. Her free hand cupped Emily’s cheek, keeping her mouth close.

She leaned forward, pressing Emily into the couch and moving as close as possible. Emily’s hands drifted down to hold JJ’s waist, tugging her flush against her, hands burning where skin met skin. JJ’s honeysuckle hand lotion filled her senses, sending heat between her legs and making her whine.

Snapping back to reality, JJ tore her mouth away from Emily’s and stared down at her, blue eyes almost black with desire. “I told you to be wet for me,” she breathed, moving the hand in Emily’s underwear lower. “Are you?”

Emily nodded frantically, mouth opening as her hips tilted up, trying to make JJ touch her where she needed it. “Yes. I’m so wet for you.”

“That’s a good girl,” JJ murmured, head tilting as she watched Emily’s eyes flutter. Her fingers finally brushed Emily’s clit, sliding further back to tease her entrance. “Oh, _Emily_ ,” she crooned, two fingers dipping into her entrance, “is all of this for me?”

“Jennifer,” Emily gasped, voice trembling with need. “I do everything for you.”

Moaning at the words and the quiver in her voice, JJ thrust three fingers into Emily, not giving her time to prepare. Emily groaned loudly and JJ smothered her mouth with her own, swallowing the desperate moans and whimpers that spilled out of her. JJ managed to keep her brain together just enough to remember that their team was still in the bullpen.

She fucked Emily quickly, fingers moving in and out easily. It was intoxicating to feel how wet Emily was for her, how willing to give over control. This was a woman full of secrets, but she laid herself bare to JJ.

“You’re doing so well,” JJ whispered when Emily bit her lip. Her grip on JJ’s waist was painful, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. It just showed how affected Emily was by her touch. JJ curled her fingers, watching closely as Emily’s eyes rolled back in her head. “That’s it. I want you to come for me, Emily.”

With a strangled gasp, Emily bucked her hips against JJ’s fingers. JJ used her thumb to rub messy circles on Emily’s clit, finally driving her over the edge. She kissed Emily, greedily drinking in her keening cries. Emily was riding her fingers, drawing out her orgasm as long as possible. JJ let her, losing herself in the feeling of Emily flying apart against her.

“Jennifer,” Emily sobbed, shaking.

Grinning, JJ pulled her hand out of Emily’s underwear, leaning back to take in the full image. Emily’s cheeks were flushed, dark blush visible on her chest thanks to her low cut v-neck. Her pupils were huge, eyes black as they looked up at JJ, still slightly unfocused. Her grip finally loosened on JJ’s waist.

“Are you impressed now?” JJ asked her, taking one of Emily’s hands in hers. “Is Chad your number one man?”

Emily laughed, rolling her eyes as JJ wiggled her eyebrows. “Yeah, my boyfriend Chad is great.”

Humming, JJ guided Emily’s hand between her legs. “Your turn,” she said, voice cracking as Emily’s fingers brushed her underwear. “Touch me.”

Emily didn’t need to be asked twice. She moved JJ’s underwear aside easily and found her practically dripping. Knowing that _she_ was the one who had turned JJ on like this made her moan. She watched JJ’s face as she started drawing slow circles around her clit, occasionally dipping a finger into her.

“That’s perfect,” JJ purred, her eyes fluttering shut. “God, you’re so good.”

Emily opened her mouth to respond when the door to JJ’s office opened. They both froze, heads snapping to see who it was. Rossi took two steps inside, spotted them on the couch, and backed out of the room silently, shutting the door behind him again. The two women looked at each other, eyes wide.

“Oh my god,” Emily muttered, shutting her eyes in embarrassment. “Oh my god.”

JJ laughed, covering her face with her hands. She shook her head. “I didn’t lock the door!” Taking a deep breath, she slid back off Emily’s lap and stood up. She tugged her skirt down, grinning at the deep, dark red that stained Emily’s skin. “Zip up.”

“Oh my god,” Emily repeated again, opening her eyes and standing. She looked JJ over as she closed her pants. “Do you think he’ll tell anyone?”

“I don’t know,” JJ answered honestly as she pulled her bra down over her breasts. “I don’t know him that well.”

She had just started buttoning her shirt when the door burst open and Derek entered the office, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. Emily immediately groaned, rolling her eyes and giving him the middle finger. Blushing, JJ turned her back on him and quickly did the last few buttons.

“Well, well, well,” Derek chuckled, rubbing his hands together. “What do we have here?”

“Morgan, please,” Emily tried, knowing full well she was never going to live this down. “It’s not a big deal.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Not a big deal? Prentiss, you just earned someone so much money!”

“Excuse me?”

“You didn’t really think we believed all that ‘Chad’ stuff, right?” Derek asked her. “Come on, you and JJ have been hooking up for forever.”

JJ shot him a surprised glance, smoothing down her shirt. “How- How long have you guys known?”

He counted on his fingers, eyes squinting. “It’s been what? Seven months now?”

“Eight,” Emily muttered before she could stop herself. 

“Damn, Prentiss!” Derek whistled, eyes flicking between the two of them. “You move fast. It only took you four months to turn Jareau gay.”

JJ snorted, crossing her arms. “Okay. I’ve been gay for a long time. Like...A _very_ long time.”

Holding his hands up, he started backing out of the room. “My bad. Do your thing.” He turned to the bullpen as he left the office. “Who had ‘caught in JJ’s office’?”

“I did,” Hotch said, sounding disappointed. “I really didn’t want to win.”

“How long?” Garcia’s voice called. “Derek, how long?”

“Eight months!” was the gleeful response.

Reid gasped loudly. “That’s me!”

Emily and JJ exchanged a frustrated, but amused glance. They’d done their best to keep things secret, but obviously it hadn’t been enough. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. They were all profilers after all. Emily walked out of the office, arms spread wide.

“Okay! You caught me! I’m a lesbian!”

Her teammates all cheered for her, laughing and whistling. Even Hotch was smiling as he leaned against his office door. JJ threw her arms around Emily from behind and kissed her cheek.

“You guys are so cute!” Garcia squealed from her seat at Morgan’s desk. “It’s a dream come true!”

“But no more sex in the office,” Rossi begged. “I almost had a heart attack and, at my age, it would kill me.”

“I second the request,” Hotch added, “and I’ll need the two of you to fill out a relationship form. That is..” He suddenly looked very uncomfortable. “That is if this is a...formal relationship?”

JJ’s grip tightened and she rested her chin on Emily’s shoulder. She could feel the way Emily tensed against her at the question. They hadn’t talked about becoming official. The closest they’d gotten was pretending like JJ was Emily’s boyfriend Chad. JJ didn’t want to speak up and make assumptions, but the silence was starting to stretch and everyone in the bullpen was starting at them.

“Yes,” Emily said loudly, surprising JJ and everyone else. “Jennifer Jareau is my girlfriend.”

Laughing, JJ lifted a hand and turned Emily’s face toward her, kissing her. Emily twisted around in her arms, holding her close. They barely heard the clapping from their team as they cemented their new relationship. When the kiss ended, Emily met JJ’s eyes.

“I hope that’s ok?”

JJ brushed her thumbs over Emily’s keeps. “It’s wonderful.”

“Good,” she sighed with relief. “Now I can break up with my boyfriend, Chad. That guy is so clingy. He won’t stop texting me while I’m working.”

“Hey!”

“Alright,” Hotch chuckled. “Everyone go home. We’re not going to get any work done tonight. See you bright and early tomorrow. And no more sex in the office, please. _Anyone_.”


End file.
